I was 7 weeks pregnant and feeling fine when I had a scan to see if I was having twins. I was quite big by then. The scan was bad news. They said maybe I had gotten my dates wrong, but there was no way. They then checked my hcg, and it came back at 12,000, which was OK. They did another scan a week later, and there seemed be some growth. My next hcg came back at 150,000, however, which was too high. Another week passed, and then I started to bleed. At this point, the scan showed no heartbeat, and I was bleeding a lot. They sent me in for a D&C, during which I lost a lot of blood and was very ill. They sent the tissue out for laboratory testing, but it came back as negative for a molar pregnancy, which surprised the doctor. I ended up with an infection and ill for 3 weeks, with bleeding on and off.

The doctor had me come in every week to check my hcg, and it was going down wonderfully—12,000, then 2,100, then 400. I wondered why they were still checking my hcg if I hadn’t had a molar pregnancy, and they told me they just wanted to be sure everything was OK because my levels had been so high at the time of the D&C. I then asked when could we have another go at trying for a baby. They told me to wait 2–3 months, which sounded OK to me. My husband and I went on holiday shortly after, however, and although we did make love, we didn’t go all the way. I was too scared!

I returned to the hospital for my next hcg test after we returned. My level had gone up to 1,200, and panic set in. They began to suspect my doctor had been right, and that it had been a molar pregnancy, but the lab results had been negative. I was so scared. They took another test 48 hours later, and my level had gone up to 1,600. They then asked me if I had had sex, to which I said yes, but not all the way. They did scans but could not see anything. Another week went by, and the scan showed my womb had thickened like the start of a new pregnancy, and my hormone level was going up, but it was not doubling as it would if I were pregnant. I was scheduled for a scan and blood test on Tuesday, November 5th, and another D&C on Thursday, November 7th.

The scan showed a sack of 5 weeks’ gestation, which matched the time when I was on holiday. The D&C was cancelled. A week later, I started to bleed heavily. After 3 days they did a scan. The egg had gone, and they could not be sure if it was a real pregnancy or if it was actually a growth from the previous miscarriage. A week later I had another scan, which looked clear, but I was told to have a chest x-ray to check for malignant tissue. That was followed by yet another scan and more blood tests and still they were not sure whether it was molar. A lab test on the tissue from the second miscarriage was requested, but as far as I know nothing has been found. I carried on with the blood tests for 2 weeks, and my levels went down well. I was told to try and forget it, but every week up to Christmas I did a pregnancy test stick, and there still was a very faint line. This worried me, but I was told not to worry too much. In late January, the hospital in Sheffield asked my doctors for a blood test and a urine test over 12 hours. It took my doctors 18 days to get the results back. Someone phoned to say it was OK, but no letter was sent. Every day I was left just wondering.

I recently received another letter from my hospital asking me to go to my doctor for another blood test. I panicked immediately and phoned them, and I was told it was just a check-up for their records after 3 months. I asked again whether it had been a molar pregnancy, but they are just not sure. I had all the symptoms, but other things say no. They just want to keep an eye on me, that’s all. Unfortunately this does not help me. I am back to the “what if’s” again. Do I dare try for another baby? They have not said anything about this to me. I still do occasional home pregnancy tests, and the results are still negative; I suppose this is my way of checking things—a very expensive way, but it does the trick. Most people want that line to be there, and most think they’re pregnant. Not me. My chemist thought I was a bit funny, going in all the time to buy pregnancy tests, so now I change around. If only they and others knew the heartache and fear a molar pregnancy can do to someone! From my experience, I think a suspected molar may be even worse, because I will never really know one way or the other.

In March this year we decided to start trying for a baby. In the same month, I received a letter to see the doctor at the hospital, which I thought must be a routine check up. I arrived at the doctor’s to be told that when they had checked my labs again, it come up that it was a molar pregnancy. I just sat there in complete shock. it was now March and it had all started months ago in September; they should have gotten back to me by December with the second result! I started to shake and cry. The doctor said they would have to do some blood tests since I had been left so long. I tried to ask why I had not been told, but they just skirted around it. I was also 4 days late and had not done a pregnancy test because I wanted to wait, but as soon as I told the doctor, there was panic: was I pregnant or was it the mole growing back? He told me it would be dangerous to continue a pregnancy. They quickly took blood and arranged a scan for the next day. How could they have not gotten back to me? What if it had turned to cancer?

I got to my car and could not stop crying. None of my family could understand it, and my husband just lost it, screaming and shouting that I had told him it would be OK to try again. The ultrasound machine arrived, and the technician knew me well. I explained what had happened, and she was upset for me because she knew I had been through so much before. The scan took 20 minutes. Normally the technicians do not say anything, but she knew I was on edge. Luckily, all was clear and I was not pregnant; she said she thought that my period would arrive sometime today or tomorrow. Sure enough, it arrived that night. Two days later they told me that my blood had 0 hcg and that my scan was fine. Again I asked to see the doctor; I wanted to know why this was not sorted out before. Two weeks later I received a letter saying that the doctor thought there was no need to see me at the present time and that Sheffield would deal with my case.

I phoned Sheffield and asked them the same things, and they indicated that it was my hospital’s fault for not getting back to me. They informed me that the second test at the lab came up positive for molar pregnancy and that a letter had been sent to my hospital on December 1st. They did not hear anything from him so asked my doctor to do a blood test, as I mentioned in my story, but they did not inform him why they wanted it. My doctor was told by the hospital that everything was OK, but Sheffield sent a letter to my doctor at the hospital saying it was not OK and that I should have been called back. Again this was not done, and so I didn’t find out until March. I was lucky that it had not developed into cancer, but it has made me more aware to check things.

I now STILL have to send water samples every week, and it is now September 2003. I recently contacted Sheffield to remind them that it is now coming up on a year since this began and to ask whether they still want weekly samples. On September 5th they contacted me and reduced the sample frequency to every 2 weeks. If everything had been done right, I would now be on monthly tests until December, but as it stands I have to keep being tested despite being clear for 7 months. This means that I cannot try for another baby until later next year, which seems so unfair.

UPDATE: February 2006

After all the tests I was finally given the all clear, and straight away we started trying for another baby. There was this big hole in our lives due to the molar pregnancy, and that was all I could think about. Month after month we tried, but nothing; we even tried using a syringe to make sure it went in to the correct place! This was taking its toll on me and Mark. Then I became very ill in 2004; my left shoulder became painful and the doctors kept giving me anti-inflammatories that did nothing. My kidney started to bleed, and they could not understand why after so many tests.
After months of pain I had to take myself to the hospital. They did an x ray and it was coded orange—which meant I needed immediate attention.  When I finally got seen 1 hr later they told me part of the bone looked like it had a hole. I was to report back the next day to see a different doctor, who told me he thought it was 2nd cancer (bone) from the molar pregnancy.
I had so many tests, scans, x rays, an MRI, even had to drink poison to make my bones glow for one test and no one could touch me for 48 hrs! In the end they found a hole the size of a ten pence and a tumor the size of a tulip bulb. This was sent to Birmingham where they gave it a fancy cancer name.
Over this time me and my husband had split; I had the 2 kids and was alone. I refused to go to Birmingham for the operation and turned to spirit healing.  They had helped me before with little things, and now I needed them more than ever.  My spirit healer Keith helped me, as well as a man called David from Spain who did distance healing.
My doctor made me sign a document saying I would not go to the hospital and that it was my fault if something happened to me.  He booked me in to see him 3 months later.
Three months passed with healing; my arm felt a lot better, and i had more x rays and tests. The doctor was in disbelief! The hole had covered up with new bone, very thin but still it had covered, and the tumor had shrunk to a fivepence. He booked me in for another check 3 months later and I continued with the healing, but not as often. The day before my appointment my healer did his normal thing but kept stopping and shaking. He turned to me and said “they will not let me heal this anymore, let’s see what the doctor says.”  They did the tests, and low and behold the hole had repaired itself, something that would normally require a graft to repair. They got out all my x rays and lined them up in disbelief. The tumor had disappeared.
Last year my husband and I decided to try and make a go of things again. I was feeling great, but still I wanted that baby.  I asked the spirit healer if he could help, and within 2 months I was pregnant.  He knew what I had gone through and said he would help me all the way through.  Jasmine Martha arrived 2 weeks, 5 days early on 17th Jan 2006, and weighed 7lb 5oz. It was a hard labor but worth it. I have my bundle of joy. So don’t give up out there, we all have a guardian angel with us. It may not feel it at times, but they will help as much as they can. Just ask! I did!