On October 31, 2015, I got a positive pregnancy test. I was shocked, because I’d only just had my first boy on March 16, 2015—my birthday. I didn’t attend my first midwife appointment until the first week in January, at which time she estimated me as being 14 weeks pregnant. She didn’t feel the need to rush me in to a dating scan and attempted to find a heartbeat instead. She was unable to locate the heartbeat but wasn’t concerned. However, in my heart, I was concerned.

I lost a week searching, still unable to locate a heartbeat. At 15 weeks I began spotting brown. Everyone kept saying that brown blood is old blood, but I said to a friend, “there’s no baby.”

The bleeding began turning red, so the midwife booked me in for an emergency scan at 16 weeks, 5 days. I had no hope. They did an external exam and apologized, saying “We can’t see anything from where we are looking.” They offered to do an internal, but the internal just showed a mass of circles, and they said it looked as though there had never been a fetus. My blood levels were tested and my hcg level was 86,000. They performed a D&C the next day. A fortnight later the laboratory confirmed I had had a complete molar pregnancy. More bloodwork was taken as well as urine samples and both were sent to Sheffield. My blood levels went down quickly; they fell to 83, then 13, then below 2. After that I had to do urine samples for 3 months before I was given the go ahead to try again. Altogether it was a 6-month wait.

I’m not focused right now on trying for another child. I am thankful I have my boy already, that my molar journey is complete, and that I am one of the lucky ones.