Tammy

First, I would like to commend Jenn, the founder of this Web site, and say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I was 28 when the ordeal began. I had been with my husband for 7 years and although I wasn’t actively trying to get pregnant, we never seemed to get pregnant until that day. It was April 1998, and I did not feel well; I thought I had the flu. I had not gotten my period, but the thought of being pregnant was totally out of my head. I had succumbed to the belief that I would never become pregnant.

A couple of days later I got my period, but it was very light. I scheduled an appointment with the doctor, and he did a test and said yes you are definitely pregnant! I told him my history of not getting pregnant, and he sent me for a blood test to confirm. Later he called me back to talk about the blood tests and explained to me that my beta hcg level was very high, 88,000. Because the levels were so high, he presumed I was carrying twins. “Oh my goodness,” I said, “It can’t be!” But then I said “It’s just my luck that this would happen to me…oh well!”

After taking it all in he rushed me off to have a scan. The scan was not too conclusive; there was only one fetus with a strong heartbeat, but there was a shadow and the ultrasound information sheet stipulated suspect partial molar pregnancy or twins. The doctors were completely unsure and said that I would have to wait and see until I was 16 weeks. I was then only 6 weeks pregnant. A few days later I went to see a gynecologist, and he assured me it was not a partial molar pregnancy and that it was highly unlikely. I was not getting the answers I needed to hear, that I wanted to hear…I wanted them to tell me that everything was normal and that I could carry on with my pregnancy.

Two to 3 weeks passed. I was violently ill and had lost 8 kilos (about 17 pounds) in 3 weeks. This was not normal! My husband also noticed the weight loss. I decided to speak with my doctor again about my options. He told me mentioned I had three choices: carry on with the pregnancy and see how it goes (that was a no no for me); carry on and if it was a partial molar pregnancy it may not survive past 16 weeks or would be deformed; or terminate the pregnancy. This is also when I found out the cold hard truth about molar pregnancy and CANCER. This scared me, because I was told it is a very rapid cancer. I was on an emotional roller coaster, with all of these things going through my head. It was heart wrenching as well. I was a complete basket case.

I can remember lying on the bed reading a book during this time, and my husband came in. He plonked himself on the bed and said in a friendly manner, “Are you gonna have this baby or not?” It gave me mixed emotions. I heard in his voice that he really wanted to have this baby. I previously had found myself looking at baby things and thinking about what color hair my baby would have or what my baby would look like, and whether it was a boy or a girl…but now I was so sick and had taken so much on myself. My husband was there for me, and told me that whatever I decided to do would be OK. I asked my doctor for a referral and booked the appointment to have the termination. I was 9 weeks pregnant.

The day came and I got myself ready. I was thinking so much that day, more I had ever thought about something in my life. Was I doing the right thing? What if the gynecologist was right? All the way to the termination clinic I thought, What if the baby is OK? I felt I was being so selfish; I just wanted to stop being sick and scared. Finally I made up my mind, but it was such a hard decision. Later, I got the biopsy results from the clinic and read them on the way to doctor. I realized then that I had made the right decision; it was a partial molar pregnancy. After all I had been through with the doctors telling me this and that, I finally felt at ease.

After the D&C my levels came back down to 20-something and slowly declined week by week. I had blood tests for weeks and months afterward, then every 6 months for 2 years. It was very scary, and I found it hard to discuss with other people because they did not understand. I have been reading the message boards in other Web sites and it has helped me deal with the situation and see that I am not alone. I had been told this was highly a rare condition. I’m very scared of becoming pregnant again, but I have read in messages from other ladies with molar pregnancy that they got pregnant pretty soon afterward.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope it helps all of you out there as it has helped me and always remember try to keep your spirits high. Yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Advertisements